Hi, it’s Tom, and I’m happy to be back after a vacation break!
Vacation break…? B-u-l-l-s-h-i-t.
Let me use myself to show how self-lying works.
I wrote my last post here 2 months ago, even though when starting the blog I promised to publish every week.
The Inner Talk:
After I skipped the first post I told myself “No one will notice”
After the second post, I continued with “These are just two weeks”
After that, I stopped counting and put my blog in the virtual ‘black box’ labeled “Don’t look here”
In mid-August, we geared up for a big media push with REDD. To prepare for broader media interest, I worked on my bio website and included "The Runway" among my projects.
With the blog knocking from the black box into my consciousness, I suddenly came up with an explanation for not writing:
Me: “It’s a vacation break!
Many authors don’t publish during this period! Obviously, that’s why I’m not writing on The Runway!”
Finding this convenient explanation made me feel great and light. I could put this topic aside without feeling guilty.
Looking Into The Box:
A few days ago I talked to Ruslan, my mentee and the author ofabout how persistence and regularity are important in work and life, and how easy it is to… lie to yourself.
Me: “Ruslan, I just realized that’s exactly what I did about my blog writing. I told myself a nice lie.”
Him: “Tom, you’ve got a bigger problem — it’s September and the vacation break is over.”
After the conversation, I faced the real reasons I wasn’t writing. In the last 2 months, my company (REDD) was in the middle of a reorganization. Simply put, work drained my focus, energy, and motivation to write here.
Listen to yourself. If you think of X, and hear your inner voice saying things like "I have more important stuff than X," "I'm busy right now," or "X is no longer relevant," watch out. It sounds like your black box locker.
Face the situation. Whatever the reason for putting the X in the black box, it’s always better to confront it. “Eat me, if you wish” to quote a Tibetan story of a man placing his head in the demon's mouth.
Find compassion for yourself. We, the founders, are ambitious and tough teachers to ourselves. Be proud of yourself for facing your problems rather than punishing oneself.
What others think
"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself and you are the easiest person to fool. "
— R. Feynman
PS. Happy to be back here!